Maybe…

I have been thinking about my past way too much lately.
And I think I am beginning to understand what all those failures might have meant.
Maybe, I was never meant to be a famous singer.
Maybe, I was never meant to be a news reporter.
Maybe, I was never meant to be a fashion designer.
Maybe, I was never meant to move to Chicago.
Maybe, I am not as special  as I think I am.
But maybe, I was meant to fall in love with God, and tell others about that experience.
And hope, that maybe one day they too can do the same. <3

Quickie…

Heeeey!
Sooo much news to report, but I am in that place where things are happening so fast that I am too busy living my life to write about it. So here are some quickie updates..
- Heading to Chicago this weekend for a much needed getaway with one my besties!
- Got an amazing opportunity to do an internship at Vanderbilt College of Med in their Wellness Program - this was such a God thing!
- Work and Grad school are coming along nicely…it is going by soo fast!
- Oh..and I got a twitter…who knew!?! I actually like A LOT better than Facebook (GASP!) that’s right, I said it. Anyways my handle is @tabiraj – follow me if you wish!
Life in general is good, I am learning that patience and peace are hot commodities on the market in life. I want to have both and be good at keeping them constantly going.

Oh! please read these scriptures about direction and how God has got your back in difficult situations – I keep rereading it over and over again!!

Psalms 37: 4-7 and 23-24 – read it!

Ps..almost forgot – Under “My Fav Things” is my friend Zak’s blog – He is a fitness trainer and has a unique approach to living a healthy life the right way! Check it out!

Cultural Self-Exploration Virtual Handout…

So..I am mixing business with pleasure..but that’s ok…
For my CSA co-hort:
Great! You made it over here!
Since you probably lost or misplaced the handout I gave you Below are the links/references and videos I referred to in class…Enjoy!
And let me know if you have any questions!

Reading Materials:

Blue Like Jazz – Non-Religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality

Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality by Rob Bell

Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers

Media Presentations:

Louie Giglio – Laminin

Activities, Organizations and/or Places:

Image: Grace Family Church – Young Adults

The Three – IdleWild Baptist – College and Career

Music:

Anberlin – Dismantle. Repair – Acoustic

Flyleaf – All Around Me

Britt Nicole – The Lost Get Found

Grits feat. Mac Powell – Fly Away

an adventure awaits…

I Just came back from an amazing women’s conference this weekend, and I am refreshed and inspired. I was not sure what to expect – and my expectations were far exceeded.
Lately, I havent been myself – and its been on purpose.
I have been having a bit of an identity crisis if you will.
I have been slowly dissolving my useless habits, and changing my worried infested thoughts to thoughts of hope and sometimes not even thinking about anything at all.
I have always been a planner, I plan, I write things down, I highlight everything.
All in hopes that neon colors will make things official and permanently seal them in my brain.
But, I am beginning to let that go…
A few months ago I was offered two internships at schools in Australia…and I turned them down…
Yep…even as I write that, I can’t believe I did it.
I will admit, a few moments of panic did happen – in fear that I made a mistake.
But It’s amazing how our wants and desires can change.
I have come to the realization, I am no longer operating on my own terms.
I am tired of planning.
I am taking things one day at a time. Literally.
Enjoying the only 24 hours that sit in front of me.
And it’s hard to do, and very risky.
But if you put your life in the right hands, you will have an adventure.
And that’s what life’s been for me lately, an adventure.
I have NO idea what lies ahead for me in the next few months, and I would like to imagine what it would be like – but I will more than likely be wrong.
And that makes me smile.

Travel Bug…

I miss traveling…I miss being able to just hop on a plane and go somewhere new. Grad school better be worth all this missing out…

Live. Laugh. Love…Abundantly!

I woke up this morning with a small sweet smile on my face.
The realization that I could have a cup of tea with milk and sugar, but more importantly, the realization that I could feel God’s love for me all over.
21 days ago I began a fast call the “Daniel Fast” – with encouragement from a dear friend.
I would normally not tell anyone, but I have to share my experience!
I ate only the following items; Fruit, Veggies,Nuts, Whole Grains and water.
For some, that might not sound like a struggle, but for a sugar fein and meat lover life myself, It was quite the test of will.
Daniel fasted for 21 days (Daniel 10: 2-3) in mourning over a dream he had. He fasted to receive direction and answers to the dream.
So yeah, I will be the first to say I could use more, a lot more, direction and vision in my life.
Couldn’t we all?
Let me first say that I, myself, me, Tabi, did not do any of this by my own will or strength. God is incredible and He is the only reason I was able to get to this day. And I am so humbled.

I prayed a lot.
I prayed for my family, for my friends, for my friend’s boyfriends, for my classmates, for the copy guy who comes and fixes our office copier. I prayed for just about anyone who needed something.
And I realized something during this fast… everyone is need of something!
I realized that I am no better than anyone else, I fall short everyday and I can do nothing without God’s presence in my life.
I also realized that I will not die without sugar or meat.
I learned discipline and patience.
I also lost my patience a lot , along with several inches to my waistline.
And more importantly I realized that if it’s important to us, it’s important to God.
I have gotten some answers, I might not see these answers right now, and that’s ok.

So…I want to let you all know that you can do things that you think you can’t. You can do it! I dont know what kinds of burdens or questions you woke up with this morning…Even if you are not a sold believer of the Christian faith, God will still hear you and still wants to know what you want in your life.
Trust me. He does.
Test God. Do it! give Him your life and see what happens!

So today I sip my hot chai and savor and enjoy every moment, knowing that my life is in the right hands.

Off to brunch with Bambi…Pinky’s here I come!!

Happy new you…

Day 3 – so far so good…I didnt realize how much I would miss the simple things like milk and bread.

So…I had a great break. I didn’t miss school at all..not one bit.
I missed my classmates – that’s it.
But I am looking forward to getting life back in order, sometimes breaks are good, but not for too long.

If 2010 goes as by as fast at 2009- I’ll be graduating with my Masters degree in no time!!

I get to see Diana in two weeks…Yaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!

Don’t look back…

So…it’s here! The last day of 2009.

And as I begin the usual recalling of the past year, I am moved to tears and laughter at the memories. I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s been nothing short of amazing!

I have said it over and over again, God brought me back home for a reason.

I realized that I needed to rest, my soul was tired and broken from chasing a career that left me terribly confused with a bruised ego, friends who were nothing of the sort and searching for love in the wrong people and places.

Believe it or not, I truly thought I was not good enough for God – I was ashamed at all my mistakes and foolish decisions that I so carelessly made without even caring about His thoughts.
I thought I could do it all on my own and just keep God in my pocket whenever I needed a spiritual boost.

I could not have been more wrong.

The wonderful thing about God is that He is a gentleman.
He knew I needed to be taken care of – and that I had NO idea how to go about getting my life back in order.

So He had to step in and teach me about Love.

I have blogged about my love for the beach – and I spent a lot of quiet times there – if you know me well, you know that I feel the closest to God when I am at the beach.
It’s been that way since I was child.
Some feel close to God in the mountains or hiking or even in church.
But for me its the water and the sand.

There is this really popular poem about footprints in the sand – A family friend gave me a gift a few years back with a picture of footprints in the sand and this last line, which pretty much sums up the past year. – thanks Nick

” The Lord replied,”The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,is when I carried you.”

So this coming year – I have ideas, dreams, faith and love.

Lots of love – it’s hard to do, but I have seen that love truly does conquer all.

**All the best to my friends this new year – I know it’s going to be amazing!**

Can I stay here forever?

Can I stay here forever
Here with you?
Surrounded by Your mercy
Clothed in Your truth
Always, I’ll stay
Always here with You

Can I be here forever
Here with You?
Can I know what it’s like
To deeply love You?
Always, Lord, let me stay
Always, here with You
- Starfield

New Moon…

Good movie…even better soundtrack!
“Rosyln” by Bon Iver&St. Vincent – best thing I took away from that movie!

Another year is almost at an end!
Wow!
Is anyone else shocked at how fast life goes by, as I am?
I am blessed beyond words.
My life has taken a 180 degree turn, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
I have savored every moment whether bitter or sweet.
And I hope everyone is as lucky as I.